A young man, in his late teens, entered the basement. He flipped on the two
switches next to the staircase and idly scanned the room: In the center, an oak
table with chairs, the kind seen in so many dining rooms. A simple computer desk
with a small moniter and phone in the far corner. Off to the side, a well-used
pool table with a dust cover. A smaller coffee table on the other side. A
bookcase alongside the far wall with a chess board and several books of varying
sizes, among other oddities. The ceiling hung low, and two small lights
positioned near the two side walls clearly illuminated everything. The walls
were a slightly faded white, and the carpet blue.

                              *****

                         Of Dice and Dens

	           An ImproFanfic by Stephen Kalb

              Session One: Death Happens: Live with it.

                              *****

The man had combed brown hair and a calm demeanor. He wore round glasses behind
which his brown eyes seemed well accustomed to the well-lit basement. He wore a
blue dress-shirt and khakis. He walked over to the bookcase and pulled out a
thick binder simply marked "Scenarios", and a small box similarly labeled
"Dice." The rest were used primarily for reference and wouldn't be used unless
there was a need to. The man took them to one end of the table, sat down, and
started leafing through the binder.

A while later, another man came down the stairs into the basement. He was
wearing a t-shirt which proudly displayed "3vil l33t" in big black letters, and
black jeans. He had a crew cut of his brown hair, and a pierced eyebrow with a
simple ring with a green bead on it. He called to the only occupant, "Hey Scott!"

Scott closed the binder, "Hey Tony. You're early. How's life been?"

Tony shrugged, "Same ol', same ol'. I suppose I should be thankful, but it'd be
nice to have a change of pace once in a while."

Scott motioned to the binder, "Well, that's why we have our little fantasies.
Care for a game of pool while we wait for the rest of our merry band of
adventurers?"

"Sure."

A break and several shots later, a young lady came down the steps. She had long
blond hair, a dark green sweatshirt, and jeans. She glanced over at Scott and
Tony, "Hey guys. I'm early, aren't I?"

Tony leaned on his cue stick while Scott lined up another shot. Tony waved, "Hey
Kate. Yeah, you're early." Kate sat at the table and pulled a book out of her
black purse.

A chapter or so later, a larger man lumbered down the stairs into the basement.
His chubby face showed a wide grin, with spiky red hair topping his head. The
t-shirt he wore bore a yellow frowning face, with X's for eyes and a bullet hole
in its forehead, with the word "0verclocked" written in red and black.

Kate briefly glanced up from her reading, "Hey Adam."

Adam grinned again, "Hey Kate, Scott, Tony. So is everyone here?"

The phone next to the computer rang. Scott picked it up, "Hello? Hey Josh. No?
S'okay. No, I wasn't going to start another campaign, not without... Mm-hmm.
Right. See ya next week." Scott hung up the phone and addressed the other three,
"Seems Josh can't make it today, but that isn't going to change our plans for
right now." Scott sat down at the head of the table, "So is everyone ready to
play?"

Tony, Adam, and Kate all took seats at the table. Scott pulled out two ten-sided
dice from the box beside him and laid them on the table. One die had multiples
of ten marked on it, indicating it was the tens digit of the two percentile
dice. Tony picked them up, briefly shook them in his hand, and cast them onto
the table. Scott glanced at the result, "37, eh? Alright..." He started leafing
through his binder again, "37, 37, 37... Ah, here we go. Use new characters."
Scott took out some blank forms and handed them to the three players.

                              *****

Three figures approached a wood door embedded into the side of a cliff. One, an
elf wearing thin leather armor with daggers at his sides, quickly pulled out a
lockpick and skillfully picked the lock on the door. His attempt to open the
door failed, however, as the door was already unlocked before he went and locked
it. One of his companions, a burly half-orc with chainmail and a large
two-handed axe on his shoulder, simply kicked the door, which crumpled under the
force. The third figure, a woman wearing a robe with dozens of pockets who
wielded a quarterstaff, peered inside the doorway and started down the stairs in
front of her as her companions followed.

The room at the bottom of the stairs was small, barely enough to hold the table
in the center and the four goblins playing poker. The poker game was
interrupted, however, when one of the players had his skull split open with an
axe, and was spilling blood all over the table, ruining the cards. The other
goblins would have leapt up and drew their swords to avenge the bloody cards,
but one had been stabbed in the eye with a dagger and another knocked unconcious
by a blast of magical energy. The remaining goblin sweatdropped, then ran down
the hallway across from the adventurers.

The woman nudged her orc companion, "Hey Thokk," and pointed down the hallway,
"Fetch." The half-orc then leapt over the table and sprinted down the hallway at
amazing speeds, quickly catching up to the retreating goblin. The orc grabbed
the goblin by the back of the neck and flung him back into the room, where he
landed on the table, shattering it. Thokk jogged back to the room where his
companions still were.

The half-orc grinned, "Thokk fetch goblin for pretty lady."

The woman fumed, "I told you! My name is Lyndia! And while I would normally
appreciate you calling me pretty, you called HIM a pretty lady!" Indicating the
very male elf, who was being highly amused.

Said elf in question chuckled, "You're right. I don't think he was in the right
in calling either of us a lady. Especially you."

Lyndia glared at the elf, "Aramil..."

Thokk blinked, "Many big words. No can think. What Thokk do for Lindy?"

"Lyndia!"

Thokk blinked in confusion again, "Lindy?"

Lyndia sighed, "Just check the next room for more goblins."

"Okie-dokie." Thokk wandered off into the hallway, with Aramil and Lyndia
trailing behind.

The goblins in the next room were much more competent than the previous ones:
For one thing, they were actually wearing armor, even if it was just leather.
Secondly, they noticed when the seven-foot tall orc with the very noisy
chainmail entered, and stopped their own poker game.

Thokk swung his axe horizontally at the closest goblin, who fell down backwards,
dodging the first swing, and rolled backwards to dodge the backswing. The other
three goblins advanced on the party. One was intercepted by Aramil, who quickly
slashed with his daggers, leaving minor wounds on the goblin. Lyndia swung her
quarterstaff at another's head, making a large cracking sound, but doing little
damage to either the staff or the goblin's thick skull. Lyndia leapt back into
the hallway to dodge an attack and give her some room to cast a spell. Thokk had
the time of his life, swinging wildly at the two goblins in front of him, both
of which were trying to get in a hit with their broadswords.

Lyndia took a handful of fine sand out of one of the pouches in her robe, and
cast it into the middle of the room. She quickly chanted the words, "ahdan dra
tuwehk" and all four goblins immediately fell asleep. Aramil sheathed his
daggers, and Thokk looked confused. Thokk turned toward Lyndia, who drew her
thumb across her neck. Thokk got the signal and started lopping off the heads of
the sleeping goblins.

Afterwards, Lyndia surveyed the orc's work, "Wow, they had a lot of blood."

Aramil whistled in appreciation, "Well, not anymore, no."

Lyndia turned towards Thokk, "Well, let's get going."

Thokk grinned and walked through the next door, leaving it in splinters. The
other two just shrugged and followed.

In the following room, Aramil took a quick glance around and saw some very
suspicious looking holes in the wall. An arrow shot out of the wall at Thokk,
who just kept on walking as the arrow bounced off his armor onto the floor.
Aramil called to him, "Hey, hold up there..." Aramil then proceeded to pull out
some daggers from his cloak, and started jamming them in the holes of the clay
walls.

*Thunk*
*Thunk*
*Thunk*
"Ow!"

"Ow?" Aramil removed the offending dagger and looked through the hole, spotting
an orc clutching his eye. Not willing to let an oppourtunity like this pass by,
he pulled out the small crossbow at his side, lined it up with the hole, and
fired. There was a loud bang on the wood door as other goblins tried to break it
down to get in. Thokk walked over to the door and pushed it with a finger,
ripping the hinges off and causing the goblins on the other side to scatter.

Lyndia sighed, "Don't you know how to open a door?"

Thokk turned toward her, confused, "Huh? Door? Wha?"

"HEY!" Aramil retracted his dagger from the skull of a goblin who was trying to
take advantage of the half-orc's plentiful confusion. Aramil pointed angrily
through the door, "Look! Goblins!" Thokk looked at the doorway, then his eyes
suddenly turned red. The half-orc let out a blood-curdling scream and threw
himself into the mob of goblins in front of him, swinging his axe with seemingly
no concern for his saftey. Lyndia and Aramil decided to stay out of it for now.

Less than a minute later, Thokk came out victorious, though injured and
fatigued, "Woo, was fun..." he took a small vial from the pouch at his side,
opened it, drank the contents, and sat against the wall in order to regain his
breath. Immediately his wounds started to close. Aramil and Lyndia took a peek
at the room behind the half-orc.

"So this is how people who bathe in the blood of their enemies get their
start..."

"The goblin stuck to the wall, impaled on his own sword was a nice touch."

"Hey, they had some pikes! We could stick their heads on 'em!"

"Well, the heads that are still in one piece, anyway..."

"How about skinning them?"

"Not enough left of them to skin."

"True." Aramil picked up a stray head, "Alas, poor goblin. I knew him... Well,
actually, I didn't. Oh well." Aramil dropped the head back onto the blood-soaked
ground and turned towards the resting half-orc, "Hey, ready to go?"

"Okies." Thokk clambered onto his feet and started towards the door, picking up
and chewing on a goblin's leg along the way.

"By Nerull's scythe, who would put a treasure chest in the middle of a hallway?"
Lyndia indicated the offending chest.

Aramil frowned, "Apparently, these goblins would. But then, they don't know how
to open a door, either."

Thokk looked interested, "Shinies?"

"Let's open it and find out. There don't seem to be any traps or locks..."
Aramil opened the chest, "And there's five gold coins in here. Oh well, let's
just take 'em and move on." Aramil picked up the coins and put them in his
pouch. Thokk frowned before walking through the next door, leaving it also in
splinters.

The last room, the goblin chief's, held the goblin chief and two of his guards.
The two guards, battle axes in hand, immediately rushed towards the three as
soon as they had entered. Aramil sidestepped the attack of one, but was hit by a
ball of magical energy the chief had cast, causing him to stagger a little bit.
Lyndia responded by casting her own magic missile at the chief, who fell
backwards from the blow. Thokk, meanwhile, had managed to give the other guard
some light wounds, but not much more.

The two guards aimed their attacks on Thokk, allowing Aramil to manuever behind
his foe and stab him in the back. The guard, though hurt by the attack, swings
his axe around in retaliation. Aramil took a nasty gash on his left arm, causing
him to drop one of his daggers. Thokk took advantage as the guard had his back
turned towards him to attack Aramil, and cleaved his opponent in two, following
up to leave another minor wound on the other guard. The goblin chief got back up
on his feet and began to cast another spell. Lyndia, after making several arcane
gestures and chants, thrust her hand towards the chief as a ray of cold energy
sprang forth and struck the chief, causing him to lose his concentration on
whatever spell he was preparing.

Thokk had finished off the second guard while Aramil ran over to the chief and
slashed at him with his daggers, but missed. Lyndia fired a second ray of cold
at the chief, killing him. 

                              *****

Scott snapped open the binder and took out the scenario. He got up and walked
over to the bookshelf and pulled out a folder entitled, "Completed Scenarios"
and put the scenario in it. Scott then pulled out another folder, this one
titled, "More scenarios" and pulled a paper out of it. He walked back over to
the table and replaced the finished scenario with the one in the folder.

"Ah, the joys of playing an evil party," Tony commented.

"Lots of blood, lots of bodies, and lots of good times," Adam added.

"That didn't take very long. You have another one set up for us?" Kate turned
toward Scott.

"Oh, sure, lemme just roll for it," The dice were cast, "16. Okay, but you'll be
using predetermined characters for this."

                              *****

Rain pounded the cobbled streets, lightning cracked in the sky, as wind whistled 
through the trees. A small, cloaked figure dashed, fighting the wind as he went,
carrying a huge bundle over his shoulder. Spotting a nearby tavern, the Serrated
Arrow, he quickly hustled over and into it. The tavern was mostly empty, its
regulars having gone home for the night, and the bartender was about to close up
shop. The bartender glanced over at the entering figure and the woman he had
been carrying on his shoulder for quite some time. The bartender spoke, "Hey
dwarf! What happened to your friend there?"

The dwarf replied angrily in a low, raspy voice, "Attacked by brigands out in
tha' middle of town." The dwarf wore armor covered in metal scales and a thick
green cloak over it. His black beard covered most of his face, and he wore a
skull cap, a simple round helmet.  A hand axe hung at his side, and he was
carrying a quarterstaff, probably belonging to his friend.

"Damn, sounds like another typical mugging. We get too many of them out here."
The dwarf laid his female friend out on a table as the bartender came over. He
looked over her slender figure and noticed her pointed ears, indicating she was
an elf. She wore no armor, but the robes she wore were covered in small pockets,
probably filled with spell components, meaning she was a magic-user of some
sort. The bartender noticed her wound, a slash across her torso, had already
been bandaged, "Looks like what could be done right now has already been done.
Let's get her up to a room upstairs."

                              *****

Kate pouted cutely, "Why do I always wind up unconscious?"

Tony snickered, "Because you have an elven sorceress, like you normally play."

Kate frowned, "Well, what do you expect me to be?"

Adam laughed, "Be like me! Play a half-orc barb!"

Scott raised an eyebrow, "But you're a halfling thief."

"So?"

                              *****

The dwarf sat in a chair by the bed as midday sunlight peaked through the window.
He still wore his armor, and his warhammer leaned against the wall. The injured
elf he brought in slowly opened her eyes as she regained consciousness, "Ooow..."
She looked around, spotting the dwarf, "Hey... Brotter... What... hit me..?"

Brotter smiled, "Some rogues in tha' alley, remember?" Brotter frowned, and
smacked an open palm with his fist, "By Moradin's hammer, I'll get them back for
this." Brotter turned back to his companion, with some mild concern, "So, how're
ya feeling, Felosial?"

Felosial frowned, sat up, and immediately regretted it, "..."

Brotter frowned, "You should still rest. I'll see what I can do about getting
you something to eat." And with that, he left her room and went downstairs to
the bar, where the bartender was getting ready to get ready for the day, "Thanks
again for letting us stay here for the night, but she needs to rest some more."

The bartender frowned, "Well, can ya pay? If I did this to everyone who came in
here half-dead, I'd be out of business."

Brotter checked his pouch, and came up with nothing, "Nay."

The bartender frowned, "Well, that's a problem then, isn't it?" The bartender
suddenly smiled, "Well, I do know someone who can help you earn your keep. Okay,
there's this guy running the smith 'cross the street. Says he needs some big
rats out of his house, and I should mention it to anyone who looks up to it."

Brotter stroked his beard, "Work, eh? I ought to check it out. Thanks again."
And with that he left to seek temporary employment with the smith.

                               ***

The dwarven smith turned towards Brotter as he entered, "Hey friend! You look
like you can help me! Do you have the time or inclination to help me with a
little rat infestation?"

"Always willing to help: The bartender across the street sent me."

"Great! Some dire rats have gotten into the storage room: They haven't eaten
anything back there, but they won't let me in without a fight, and I can't
handle 'em by myself, but I think you can."

"Good. In the meanwhile, you can pay my tab at the inn." With that, Brotter
disappeared into the storage area in the back.

                               ***

A halfling walked up to the bar, climbed up onto the stool as he could barely see
over it normally, and beckoned for the bartender, "Hey Bob! Got any jobs? My
fingers start twitching if I don't find something to do..."

The bartender smiled, "Nothing spectacular, Roscoe, but... Okay, I have this
pair of
travelers, adventurers, fighters, what have you. They came in last night, one in
much worse shape than the other. I wanna do them a favor. See if you can't bring
a priest or someone here to heal her. Don't worry about the costs, I'll pay for
it." The bartender chuckled, "And when you get here, stick around, I'm sure they
want to take their anger out on a few thieves around here, and you're the best
person to show them the way."

Roscoe gave the bartender a thumbs-up, "Will do, boss!" and dashed out of the
tavern.

                               ***

Brotter walked triumphantly out of the storage room, waraxe leaned on his
shoulder. The smith grinned, "The look on your face tells me everything I need
to know. Here's a small bag of gold, and a big thanks from my heart.

"Thank ye, brother. If ye ever need a fellow axe, look for me."

"I will, brother, I will." And Brotter walked out of the smith, leaving his old 
axe on the counter. He slung his new one over his back as he walked back to the
tavern. The bartender gave him a nod as he walked upstairs. After knocking, he 
entered Felosial's room to give her the good news. She was sitting in bed, 
pouring over a tome she had with her, humming as she read.

"Well, when ye're back on your feet we have some funds to keep us going."
Brotter gently tossed the bag to Felosial, who briefly glanced at it before
tossing it aside. "You're sure you don't want to ask the priests for healing?"

Felosial never looked away from the book, "No way. It's too much money just to
do something the body will do in a few days anyway."

There was knock at the door, and Brotter answered the door to meet a tall bald
man wearing only a plain cloth robe, some sandals and a pendant of a sun with a
face inscribed in it, a sign of a priest of Pelor. He smiled, took a quick
once-over of the dwarf and the room, and bowed before walking quickly to the
side of the bed where Felosial sat. A short incantation and a few gestures
later, Felosial could feel her wounds closing. The priest bowed again as
Felosial thanked him and he left. 

Brotter blinked in confusion, "Huh?"

Felosial smiled sweetly, got out of bed and stretched. She removed the bandages
around her and clean skin lay underneath. She turned toward the halfling in the
doorway, "Why hello. Were you the one responsible for this?"

The halfling smiled back. He had ruddy skin and straight black hair and
sideburns. He wore a simple tunic and pants, but a crossbow and some daggers
hung at his side. He said, "Naw, well, not really. Bob just sent me for him,
that's all. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here 'cause I heard you was
attacked by a couple of thieves out in town last night."

Felosial frowned, and Brotter blinked again, "Aye, we were. What do ye have to
do with it? And who's Bob?"

Felosial nudged her partner in the ribs, "Bob's the bartender. Didn't he
introduce himself to you?" Brotter just shook his head.

The halfling scratched the back of his head, "Well, I can tell you it was
probably some idiots in the sewers. If that's the case, they're in the sewers.
Need a guide?"

                              *****

"Hoo boy, another sewer crawl..." Kate moaned.

"Standard level one dungeon. Shouldn't be that long." Scott said.

"I know. But it's another stinking sewer. Literally. Can't you come up with
anything original?"

"Well, how else can you move unseen from one side of town to another?"

Kate paused before slumping back into her chair. Tony spoke up, "Okay, we'll go
along for the ride."

                              *****

Felosial and Brotter followed their new companion down an alleyway, where Roscoe
lifted up a manhole and entered into the sewers.

"Okay, here's the scoop. There are hidden rooms all over the sewers, oft used by
minor theives all over town. Thieves don't tend to stray far from their hideout,
though."

"You mean like that one over there?" Brotter pointed to a wall across from them,
where there were ever-so-slight cracks in the hewn stone walls, "That's
obviously one: The cracks are to straight to be natural."

Roscoe sweatdropped, "I didn't know about that one. Huh. Learn something new
everyday."

                               ***

"Ack! Ohshitoshitoshit weredeadweredeadweredead!" One of the thieves panicked,
backing into the corner opposite the trio. The other sweatdropped, and similarly
backed up, having a few more wits about him, drawing his dagger.

As Brotter and Roscoe drew their weapons, Felosial took the opportunity to take
her revenge, and quickly gestured, muttering what sounded like nonsense to the
common ear. She thrust her hands towards them, and a bolt of energy struck the
one who had drawn his dagger, who recoiled, hitting his head on the wall, and
fell unconscious. His partner, having realized the futility of the situation,
resigned himself to his fate and fell into unconsciousness as a second Magic
Missile hit him. Brotter and Roscoe sweatdropped as Felosial flashed a V for
victory at them, and tied up the two thieves, to take to the authorities.

                               ***

The three walked up to the guardhouse. Brotter, with his dwarven strength, was
carrying one of the thieves over his shoulder while Felosial and Roscoe held the
arms and legs of the other. A bulletin board next to the
guardhouse had pictures of bounties and their rewards. A recently posted one
held the pictures of the two whom the trio were carrying into the guardhouse.
The captain of the guard, a human wearing thick chain mail, stood as the three
entered. He quickly glanced at the two thieves they were holding, "Well well
well, what is this we have here? The notice for these two bounties just got
posted yesterday."

Felosial smiled cutely, "Oh, good. We can get some money for these two!" Brotter
only grunted under the weight of the thief.

Roscoe grinned, "Hey Vimes, how's it going? Remember me?"

Vimes grinned back at Roscoe, "Yes, I remember you, you're the little rascal who
nearly got killed, twice, because your bounty woke up before you could get them
here." Roscoe would scratch the back of his head if he wasn't holding half an
unconscious body. Vimes continued, "Well, you know where to put these two." Vimes
tossed a key to Brotter, who caught it with his free hand, the only one of the
group.

Roscoe led Felosial and Brotter down the stairs in the corner of the room.
Downstairs was a simple jail, with stone walls and maybe a total of six cells.
Brotter unlocked one, walked in, laid the body down, walked out, and locked the
door. He unlocked another jail cell door, into which Felosial and Roscoe simply
threw the new prisoner. Brotter sweatdropped as he locked the door. On the way
up, Vimes threw Roscoe a small bag of gold coins.

                              *****

Kate yawned, "Well, that was interesting, but I'm tired."

Scott nodded before yawning himself, "Yeah, let's call it a day." Scott placed
the scenario in the "completed" folder and replaced it with another one.

Adam hummed, "The Happy Healing Song" and was promptly smacked by Tony.

Scott yawned again, "Okay, same time next week. Hope Josh can get here next
time."

Kate said, "Alright, so we'll see each other next week."

And with that, the four filed out of the large room and parted ways.